JUSTIN
OK, what do you think is cooler for my date? Leather jacket? Or this hoodie?
ALEX
Oh, let's see. (examines leather jacket) Nice leather...or what if we...(pulls up Justin's hood) good. (ties it closed in his face)
JUSTIN
Aargh!
ALEX
Yep, I'd go with the hoodie!
JUSTIN
Take it easy, I'm a mouth breather! (unties the hood from his face and sits down)
ALEX
I can't believe you let your Wiztech Buddy set you up on a blind date. And only you know from her is what you've learned from her profile on Wizface.
JUSTIN
You haven't even seen her, she's hot! And she's into all the same things that I'm into.
ALEX
P-lease. Listen, everybody's hot on Wizface, because they don't show their real picture, and they lie about what they're into. What picture did she see of you?
JUSTIN
Oh, I don't think pictures capture my essence, that's why I posted a complicated mathematical equation. (Alex gives him a blank stare) Come check it out.
Alex moves over beside Justin as he opens the page on his computer.
ALEX
Oh, I get it. Because you're hard to figure out, no one cares enough to try. (Justin fake laughs as Alex clicks through some other pages) What other embarrassing things do you have on your embarrassing page? Oh, my gosh! I can't believe you posted that picture of you and that centaur. Don't you wish she had told you she was half horse and half girl before you asked her to Wiztech prom?
JUSTIN
(shrugs) I saved a lot on the limo.
ALEX
I am just saying. People or horses, are not always honest on Wizface.
The doorbell rings, and Justin stands to go and answer.
JUSTIN
OK, that's Isabella now. (starting for the door) I guarantee you, she looks exactly like her picture on Wizface.
Justin answers the door, Alex jumps couches. An older woman is revealed on the other side.
OLDER WOMAN
Is this the Russo residence?
Before answering, Justin looks back at Alex guilt-ridden, Alex responds with a crazy laugh on her face.
JUSTIN
Hi. (shy; hands woman an object) ...Here's your floral bracelet.
OLDER WOMAN
(confused) Thanks...and here's the mail that came to my apartment by accident.
Justin takes the letters, Alex covers her mouth from laughter.
JUSTIN
(as the woman walks off) Oh, ma'am. (takes the bracelet) Take it easy. (closes the door) Phewf. (sits back down)
ALEX
Aargh, I wouldn't phew so fast. At least that lady only had two legs.
The doorbell rings for a second time.
JUSTIN
(as he goes to answer it) OK, I'm sure Isabella is normal. (turns back) Oh, forgot the floral bracelet.
As he goes back to get it, Alex jumps up and answers the door - a hot, young girl is on the other side this time (Isabella).
ISABELLA
Hi, I'm Isabella, is Justin here?
ALEX
Oh, well you're cute, boo! (walks off)
ISABELLA
Justin?
Justin looks over at her from the couch, his face is shielded by his tightened hood.
JUSTIN
(hesitant) Isabella...(undoes his hood, goes to the door) Whoaw. You're even prettier than your pictures on Wizface.
ISABELLA
And you, don't look anything like x=y2 over a cosign of pi.
JUSTIN
I know, everyone says that! So nice to meet you. (ushers her in) And even nicer for you to meet my sister Alex, who thinks she knows everything! Here, take a seat. I'll go get you some of your favorite diet Wiz-Fizz. You know the soda. I remember it from your profile. (he runs upstairs, by now Alex is by the kitchen bench. Isabella is seated).
ALEX
Well. This was fun. Can you pass me my sweater please?
With the bark of a dog sounding, Isabella grabs up the sweater from the coffee table in her mouth. She turns back over the couch, with the sweater hanging from her mouth.
ALEX
OK...(tugs for the sweater)
Isabella tugs from her side, a few times and eventually Alex ends up with the sweater.
ISABELLA
Now that was fun!
ALEX
Really? 'Cause my word was awkward. (exit)
***
Opening Credits
WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE
starring SELENA GOMEZ
DAVID HENRIE
JAKE T. AUSTIN
JENNIFER STONE
MARIA CANELS BARRERA
and DAVID DeLUISE
***
Max and his friend, Alfred, enter the Sub Station. Max is carrying a dog.
MAX
Hey Alfred, you ready to go walk the dog?
ALFRED
I 'dunno, there are lots of streets to cross between here and the park, where a lot could go wrong!
Theresa, Max's mom, is walking by.
MAX
Oh, hey mom, we're going to walk the dog to the park.
THERESA
Alright, honey. (turning back) Wait, wait, wait. We don't own a dog!
ALFRED
This is Tucker, Mrs Carson's dog. She's gonna' pay us five bucks a day to walk him.
MAX
We're saving up for those cups on a chain, so we won't have to keep asking you guys for cups.
THERESA
Oh. You know honey, it's not really that much of a bother, we own a restaurant, we've got hundreds of cups.
MAX
We want cups on a chain. Are you in or are you out?
THERESA
Alright, alright...I guess I'm in. You know what. I'm going to make some dog biscuits from a recipe I saw on DogFood Network. OK. (walks off)
ALFRED
Why do we want cups on a chain again?
MAX
How many times has someone offered you a beverage, and you have nothing to put it in?
ALFRED
Never.
MAX
Well it will never happen again!
The two of them walk out, as Isabella and Justin come from upstairs. Jerry is behind the counter.
JERRY
Oh, hi. (to Isabella) Are you on of Alex's friends?
JUSTIN
No, dad, she's with me. A pretty girl can be with me.
JERRY
Oh, right. (fake chuckle) Of course.
ISABELLA
I'm Isabella. You must be Mr. Russo. (shakes hands with him - Theresa walks out from the kitchen)
THERESA
Oh, hi. ...I'll get Alex. (turns to go upstairs)
JERRY
Oh, Theresa, please. A pretty girl can be with Justin!
THERESA
(coming back down) Oh, of course.
ISABELLA
Justin and I were set up by friends. And we've been getting to know each other on Wizface.
JERRY
(unsettled) Wizface...really?
THERESA
Oh, yeah. I hear it's a fun, social networking site where people from the Wizard World who don't even know each other at all can...get to know each other. (pause) Justin, can you come in the kitchen, we need help with the salami slicing.
JUSTIN
It's Max's turn for that.
JERRY
Well, we need your help with something else.
JUSTIN
What?
JERRY
That thing.
JUSTIN
What thing?
JERRY
Justin, get in the kitchen right now!
JUSTIN
Alright. Come on Isabella, we're going into the kitchen.
Theresa stops Isabella from entering.
THERESA
No, no. No, no. Isabella needs to stay here...because of argh (looks to Jerry for assistance)... because of that thing.
JERRY
That thing, with the...oh, what are we doing! Isabella, you stay here, Justin - come on!
Jerry flicks a smile at Isabella as he allows Justin and Theresa to enter before him, closing the door as they do so. Isabella goes to the counter and gets a glass of water, only to start licking at it in the same way a dog would. By now Alex is at Isabella's side.
ISABELLA
Oh. (drinks politely) Hi Alex.
ALEX
I saw that.
ISABELLA
Saw what?
ALEX
I'm not sure what I saw, but I saw that.
Cuts into the kitchen - Jerry and Theresa are pacing around Justin.
JERRY
Once again we have to discuss Wizface and how dangerous it is, because you never really know who you're dealing with.
THERESA
And, how you keep buying things from the World Wide Wizard Web that you don't need! Like the submarine part of the month club.
JUSTIN
I know it seems ridiculous right now, but in 128 000 months I'll have a complete submarine! And there's nothing wrong with Isabella, she's really nice.
THERESA
Well, at least this one's not half-horse.
JUSTIN
That centaur looked beautiful in her prom dress.
THERESA
Honey, you are missing the point! You didn't know she was a centaur before you met her. She ate all the carrots in the Sub-Shop! Our coleslaw was flavorless for a week!
JUSTIN
Mom, dad. I hear what you're saying right now, but I think I'm old enough to make my own decisions.
JERRY
Alright, but just do yourself a favor, and get to know her better. Before you get serious.
JUSTIN
Don't worry, it's 'gonna be fine. I'm going on a date with her, everything is going to be fine. Look at her. She's fine!
They look out the window and find that Isabella is seated at the counter, having heard everything just discussed about her. Jerry and Theresa give her a friendly wave as Justin goes to her side.
JERRY
(to Theresa) She totally just heard everything we said. We should really shut this when we're talking about people and they're sitting right there!
Jerry picks up a glass as it cuts to Justin and Isabella walking out of the shop, hand in hand, passing Alex who is sitting a table alone.
ALEX
So, where are you guys going again?
JUSTIN
I'm taking Isabella for a walk in the park.
ALEX
Oh, she'll like that.
***
At the park. Isabella is lying on the grass rustling around. She gets up and starts clawing up with her hands. She approaches to walking women.
ISABELLA
Hello, hello! Hello, hello! Hello, hello! Hello, hello!
Frightened, the two of them walk off, as something else catches Isabella's attention...
ISABELLA
(turning) Squirrel!
She goes for the tree, reaching up as Justin runs over.
ISABELLA
Did you see how I almost caught that squirrel?
JUSTIN
And that bus, and that cab, and the guy on the bike...you almost caught a lot of things.
ISABELLA
I know! Isn't this the best walk ever?
JUSTIN
Yeah, I just thought we'd walk together!
ISABELLA
Oh, OK. (they start walking) Let's walk together. And listen, if I ever get out of sight, all you have to do is whistle.
JUSTIN
Hot! I like it. (Isabella smiles suggestively) Can you believe my sister and my parents, think we don't know enough about each other to go out.
ISABELLA
I know. I can tell from your profile that we're into all the same things. Cosy blankets, long naps, car rides...
JUSTIN
Neither one of us likes thunder-storms.
ISABELLA
Or vacuum cleaners.
JUSTIN
Vacuum cleaners are the worst! If you don't wear your shoes in the house, there's no need for a vacuum!
ISABELLA
I. Love. Shoes!
JUSTIN
Me too, I wear them everywhere! (places his hand around her shoulder as they walk away) I can't wait for my parents to see how perfect we are.
As they walk off, it is revealed that the tree they were standing in front of has eyes. A man come and staples on a poster, as he walks off the tree is shaped out to reveal Alex's figure.
ALEX
Owgh!
She takes off the poster from her shirt. Max and Alfred walk over with the dog.
MAX
Hey, Alex! We're getting cups on a chain so we can drink around our necks!
ALEX
(fake laughter) Well Justin's girlfriend's a dog. Watch. (Alex steps in the middle of a frisby game) Hey, guys. Can I play? (takes frisby) Thanks. (indicates to Isabella, who is by the bubbler with Justin) Yo Isabella. Go fetch!
She throws the frisby and Isabella chases after it, catching it in her mouth. Justin goes to Alex's side.
JUSTIN
Hey, Alex. Isn't Isabella great? She's so...so athletic, and friendly. She says 'hello', to everyone in the park!
ALEX
Yeah, your girlfriends' a dog.
JUSTIN
What are you talking about, she's beautiful! You just hate that we're perfect for each other.
ALEX
She put my sweater in her mouth and played tug of war with me! Isabella is hiding something.
JUSTIN
Oh, you just don't like the fact that I'm falling in love! Yeah. Yeah I am, I'm falling in love!
ALEX
She ate a dog biscuit like it was a chocolate chip cookie right out of the oven! (Justin tuffs it away) She jumped in the air and caught a plastic flying disk in her mouth!
JUSTIN
We both love catching plastic flying disks in our mouth.
Isabella runs past, with the frisby in her mouth, being chased by the man who owns the item.
JUSTIN
That's one of the many things we have in common.
ALEX
You can't catch a plastic flying disk in your mouth! You can't catch a plastic flying disk in your hands.
JUSTIN
Oh, yeah? Hey, Gunner, hit me!
As Justin bends down into position, with his mouth open and his hands out, the frisby comes flying at him and hits him in the forehead as it falls to the ground.
JUSTIN
Good throw! (to Alex) Am I bleeding?
***
Back in the Russo's living room, Isabella is lying down playing with the fur on the carpet , Justin is sitting on the couch with an ice pack on his forehead and Alex is standing.
ALEX
OK, OK, the swelling's going down, you cried it out...you're gonna live. (sits down) Now, Isabella. Did you leave out one piece of crucial information out on your Wizface page, like the fact that you're a dog?
JUSTIN
That's ridiculous! I wouldn't be ready to commit myself to Isabella, without having a pretty good idea, of who she is. (turns to Isabella) You're not a dog, are you?
ISABELLA
No.
JUSTIN
See!
ISABELLA
I'm a werewolf!
Justin stares at his girlfriend. Alex chuckles.
ALEX
Whoaw, I did not see that coming!
JUSTIN
So what! Not seeing things coming is the roller coaster of love. And I'm strapped in, ready for the ride. Today I find out my girlfriends' a werewolf...yay! How many other guys can say that?
ALEX
Well...none. 'Cause I'm guessing anyone who can say that has been eaten.
ISABELLA
That's a stereo type, we're actually very loving.
JUSTIN
I sense that about you.
ALEX
Oh, Justin, come on! Just admit it. You don't know anything about her.
JUSTIN
(stands) Oh Alex, I can't believe your level of jealousy. I just hope that one day, you can be as happy as we are!
By now, Isabella is standing up by Justin, and to finish his speech off, he plants a kiss on Isabella's cheek.
ISABELLA
Oh, Justin, there is just one more thing that you should know about me.
JUSTIN
Yes, my love?
ISABELLA
When you kiss a werewolf, you turn into a werewolf!
Justin smirks with unsettlement, Alex hides her disbelief by covering her mouth.
JUSTIN
Aaargh...perfect. (starts pacing behind the couch) Oh, my gosh, this is going to be so painful! As my genetic structure is changing, as my spine shifts from human to canine, as my hangs (???) and become (???) waiting for the claws to shoot out of my fingernails! (he gasps, and dramatically falls to the ground behind the couch he is standing beside. He raises his hand and screams) I love you, Isabella!
ISABELLA
That's another stereo type, the change is pretty fast and painless.
Justin leans up from behind the couch to reveal he now has a beard of black hair shooting off his chin.
JUSTIN
Really?
Isabella's face is now transformed as she nods over at him. Justin stands and looks over his body.
JUSTIN
Oh...you're right.
ISABELLA
(growls suggestively at Justin) Nice coat.
JUSTIN
Thanks. (backs over to Alex) Alex! What are we going to do?
ALEX
Well. Don't ask me, I proved you guys don't know each other, my work is done. (tuffs)
***
Justin is looking at himself in the mirror. Isabella is sitting on the couch, Justin goes and joins her.
JUSTIN
OK, so I'm a werewolf. There's a price to love. Love hurts, but I didn't die. Just a werewolf. (panicking to Isabella) I'm not going to die, am I?
ISABELLA
No, you're good. But don't chase cars!
ALEX
Alright, that's about as much puppy love as I can take! (gets up from seat) Get it? Where do I come up with these things. (goes to kitchen, Justin follows)
JUSTIN
Wait, Alex. You're not going to tell dad, right?
ALEX
No.
JUSTIN
Because dad would want to blame this all on Wizface and say I told you so. And then he'd want to change me back . And maybe I don't want to be changed back! Maybe I enjoy seeing everything in black and white! Maybe I'm perfectly happy now as a werewolf. With Isabella. What is that smell?
ALEX
It's you, dude!
ISABELLA
It comes with the fur.
JUSTIN
Oh. (sniffs his hand) Well then I like it. (anxious; to Alex) I LOVE having fur. Enjoying my new lease on life.
ALEX
Don't you mean leash on life! (laughter) That's a good one. (to Isabella) Up top! Oh, watch out...claws.
JUSTIN
Stop judging us with your hurtful jokes! Come on Isabella, we're obviously not accepted here.(by now Alex is in the kitchen and he and Isabella are by the door) We need to do what people in love have done since the beginning of time! Run away to the only place where animals can be free! (Alex mimicks him; Justin turns to her) THE PARK.
ALEX
OK. Don't forget your collars, it's flee season! (chuckling) Another one, I am on fire!
JUSTIN
OK, we're actually going now. Like I said, don't tell Dad that we're going to the park. K?
ALEX
I'm not. And why are you still here and not chasing a cat?
JUSTIN
(approaching Alex; with Isabella behind) It's that kind of hatred and prejudice that makes us unable to stay here for more than one moment! Come on, my love!
Justin gets down on his legs, with Isabella following, he jumps off the balcony on the porch, howling. Back in the house, Max walks into the kitchen with his cup on a chain.
MAX
Hey, Alex! Successful day of dog walking! I got my cup on a chain.
ALEX
Yep, livin' the dream.
MAX
So what's going on around here?
ALEX
Well, Justin's Wizface girl turned out to be a werewolf, they kissed, he turned into a werewolf, and now they've run away to spend the rest of their lives together. So I guess it's just you and me.
MAX
Well, hey, I got Justin a cup on a chain, but argh...his loss is your gain, right? (puts cup on a chain around Alex's neck) Let's have a race to see who can fill theirs with spit first! Go!
ALEX
Oh my goodness, I can't live like this. (takes off the cup on a chain and goes for the door)
MAX
Where are you going?
ALEX
To tell dad that Justin's a werewolf and I need him back right away. (exits)
***
At the park, Justin and Isabella are sitting out on a bench beside one another.
JUSTIN
I'm so glad we're out here starting our new lives together. Holding paws on this bench with nobody to stop us. Including my parents. I don't even care if they were looking for me, even if they heard me! (shouts, barks) I'M JUSTIN RUSSO! SITTING ON THIS PARK BENCH...NEXT TO THE LAMP POLE. (pause; resumes normality) I'm gettin' kinda hungry. We should go eat some cats or something!
ISABELLA
Werewolf's don't eat cats. That's a stereo-type. Just like how we only change during a full moon- we change every night.
JUSTIN
Even better !
ISABELLA
It's just like, people watch a couple of movies and suddenly they know all about werewolves.
JUSTIN
Oh, I love those movies - like that one, Hey, Werewolf. About the inter-city school guidance councilor, who understands the kids, because he knows what it's like to be an outsider!
ISABELLA
I can't believe you would watch those movies, they're demeaning. I mean - Hey, Werewolf? I didn't believe Ashton Kutcher for one minute! Those shows make us look like animals instead of people with a condition that with a proper diet and exercise can live a normal, healthy life! Grrgh! (howls)
JUSTIN
I'm...sorry.
ISABELLA
OK, I got a little worked up, but I had no idea that you liked werewolf movies. That's the type of thing you should have listed on your Wizface profile. I mean, I don't really care where you went to chess camp.
JUSTIN
(stands) You're mad at me, because I left something out of my Wizface profile? Because I think you left something out of your Wizface profile that's pretty big!
ISABELLA
What?
JUSTIN
Hmm...let me think about what it is while I...(demonstrates each as he says)...stroke my beard, and my arms...and my whole body because there's hair all over it!
Over on the other side of the park, the rest of the Russo family come out of the trees. Jerry is at the front, squeaking a dog toy in an attempt to lure Justin.
THERESA
Most moms have to look for their lost kids at the department store. But no! I have to look for my werewolf son in the park !
JERRY
Hey, I said we'd get pretzels once we find him.
THERESA
We can get pretzels anywhere!
Cuts back to Isabella and Justin, who jump off the park seat and start sniffing around wildly.
ISABELLA
Hey! Can you smell your mom, dad and your sister? (slight pause) Well, mostly your dad.
JUSTIN
(sarcasm; trying to hide his relief) Yeah! And I see them ... after I specifically told them not to come after me. (fake; turning to Isabella) Boy am I mad at her. (calling out) Over here!
ISABELLA
Good, loy them over here and then we'll make a mad dash for it.
JUSTIN
Exactly. You go this way and I'll go that way! And no stopping and digging.
ISABELLA
(winks) Got it.
Isabella runs off in the opposite direction, Justin jumps over the park bench, only to jump onto a large rock as his family comes into view.
JUSTIN
Oh, guys! (runs to them) There's something that I have to tell you.
ALEX
You won best in show? Congratulations!! (a stern look from Justin)
JERRY
I don't have to say I told you so, do I?
JUSTIN
No...
THERESA
Well. I do! (turns to Justin) I told you so! You cannot trust what people say on Wizface. I thought we learned that - when your prom date had matching shoes and a saddle! But apparently, someone has to turn themselves into a werewolf, for the lesson to take. My poor baby's a werewolf. What are we going to do?
ALEX
Well, I'm not shaving him.
JERRY
It's not about shaving Justin. I remember a recipe to a potion.
JUSTIN
Thank you, I'll drink anything.
JERRY
It's not exactly a drinking potion...
Back at the Russo's house, outside on the deck, Justin is in a barrel full of a liquid which looks similar to milk. Alex and Max are sitting on the steps watching as Jerry pours in the final spoonfuls. Theresa is standing.
JUSTIN
Dad, this is embarrassing.
JERRY
I know. It's a potion, and a punishment, all in one! (goes to Theresa's side)
MAX
I don't think it's working, he's still hairy.
ALEX
Well, I'm cool, as long as he doesn't use my brush.
JERRY
(examines recipe card) Oh...maybe you do read it. Yep, it's a drinking potion.
THERESA
What? You mean I didn't have to scrape the egg shells and coffee grounds out of the bottom of that thing?
JERRY
Yeah, looks like we learned a couple of things today.
THERESA
Yeah, Justin learned not to trust people on Wizface and you learned what the word 'ingest' means.
JERRY
I thought it meant joking.
JUSTIN
Am I supposed to drink my own bath water?
ALEX/MAX
(cheering) Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Closing his eyes, Justin goes under and a few moments later comes back up with his face as normal.
JUSTIN
Argh, I think I swallowed an egg shell!
Justin looks around, embarrassed - as Max and Justin laugh and Theresa takes a sigh of relief.
***
At the empty Sub Station, Justin is working behind the counter and a cute blonde girl is in front talking to him.
JUSTIN
(anxious) Hey, it's good to see you again.
GIRL
Yeah. I feel bad that it didn't work out so well with us.
JUSTIN
Guess we should've gotten to know each other first.
A zoom out reveals that the girl is indeed the centaur that has been mentioned concurrently through the episode.
GIRL
I know. We didn't even get to slow dance at the prom.
JUSTIN
I'm not doing anything right now.
GIRL
Me neither.
JUSTIN
Cool. (the Girl's face lights up) Later.
With a brief smile, Justin turns away upstairs and the girl looks on at him with a disappointed face.
Wizards of Waverly Place is licensed copyright material of the Walt Disney Company.
No infringement is intended by the transcription of this episode which was written by Vince Cheung and Ben Montanio.
